Welcome To Talkin Tennessee

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Check us out to hear the latest online in the volunteer state. Yavonka and her guests discuss everything from life, love, and business with the Tennessee flare. The Tennessee Fun! Always relatable, always relevant, and always a good time. This is Talkin Tennessee, and now your host, Yavonka.

Landis Team Sponsor Message

SPEAKER_01 0:22

This episode is brought to you by the Landis Team, your go-to real estate family in East Tennessee. If you are looking to buy or sell, we are the ones you should call. Give us a call at 865-660-1186 or check out our website at yavonka salesrealestate.com. That's Yavonka Y V-O-N-N-C-A Sales Real Estate.com.

Meeting Susan And Finding Purpose

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Welcome back to Talking Tennessee with Yavonka. I am your host, and I am here with a dear friend, Susan DeCack. And let me just tell you, I'm so excited to have you here.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Thank you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

We met two years ago. Two years ago, she was speaking on a stage for First Horizon. And I sat there, Susan, and I was like, oh my gosh. I love everything about her.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

So welcome to Talking Tennessee. Um, I have been looking forward to this episode for so many reasons. Viewers, let me just say, I'm gonna start here. Susan walks with grace. She walks with purpose. She's such a peaceful person, and she always greets you with a smile. And I'll tell you, Susan, I am a person that loves positive people. And I love people that try to walk in their purpose. And you are the epitome of that.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

Thank you so, so much. I really appreciate your saying that. And I feel the same way about you. When I see you anywhere across the room, I see that big smile. It's like a very attractive smile. And it what people you ask people to go say hi to you.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Thank you. Thank you. I let me let's go back to when we first met. So she came off the stage, everybody, and she just was glowing. And everything she was uh talking about, she talked about her journey. Um and we're gonna get into that, but it just you sounded like you were trying to give everybody in the room a purpose to keep moving, keep doing great things, keep being positive and peaceful. And that's what I took from that uh uh you speaking. And so is that just that's exactly right.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

I I feel like no matter what stage of your life you're in, yes, what age, what anything you're doing, when you see something that needs to be done, don't wait until tomorrow. Just go do it now.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Now that's a good one. If you see something that needs to be done, don't wait until tomorrow. I always tell my uh when I speak or whatever, if I'm talking a conversation, I believe that change starts with you. So if you see something that needs to change, if you feel like it needs to change, then let it start with you. Show the world how to change it.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

Do you agree with that? I totally agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

It I and I think that's a way to not come off as a complainer. You're coming off as someone that is trying to evolve and make make things evolve along with that purpose.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

And that's exactly it. I don't know what what um what made me feel that way. Of course, I didn't feel that way when I was back in Iraq, but I certainly felt that the way that this country moves you. Yes. And I think it's because of so many things. It gives you that that I I say that it's liberty. Yes. People call it freedom, but I think it's completely different when it's liberty. When you feel like your inside tells you anything is possible, let's go do this, let's do it, let's just do this. There's no no no reason to stop it. Everything in the in the world, you can reach it and you can do it if you want to. You really can.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

And you know, some people say, Well, I didn't get this opportunity, I didn't get that opportunity. So let me let's talk a little bit about where Susan came

From Baghdad To American Identity

SPEAKER_02 4:28

from. Tell us who Susan Dekaki is and where are you from?

SPEAKER_04 4:33

I'm from Baghdad, Iraq. I grew up there and I came to this country in 1978. My parents decided to immigrate to this country back in 1978. And I was just uh a few weeks shy of 18 years old at that time, and I just went to school, I went to college and graduated, worked, and after I worked, I started I got married, and life just took me to where like, okay, I'm I'm happy where I am, but I wasn't paying attention to who I am, like where I am in in in the big picture. I was just doing it because that's what people do. When you graduate, you work, and then if you find man in your life, you get married, that kind of thing. You try to have kids. Okay. But I wasn't looking at myself as like I'm focusing on who I am and what I need to do.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

So if life's So you didn't think about it identity. No, I think identity.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

Exactly. Okay. It wasn't until the war of Iraq in 2003 when I saw President Bush on TV talking directly to the Iraqi people and saying, your enemy is not outside your country, your enemy is inside your country. And I looked at them, at those people there, and I said, This is what I would have been had I not been here. So I'm this country made me who I am. What do I do to say thank you? So I contacted the Department of Defense. I said, I'm a civil engineer, I work in the wastewater, I can. That's the first thing that any rebuild of cities or countries need is the their water and wastewater. Let me help. And I'm two for the price of one because I can speak the language, I don't need any interpreters, and I can um I can help you because I have that specialty.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

And so you're an engineer.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

I'm an engineer, civil engineer.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Civil engineer.

SPEAKER_04 6:27

And my specialty is called uh trenchless technologies. Okay. Where you actually open the trenches without opening the trenches. So you do you you put in new new pipes, new sewer system without actually you know, disturbing the the the land, the this the soil. Okay. And uh so I thought this will d be needed over there, definitely, because it's very congested. We don't want to keep opening trenches in the middle, you know, everything that's happening in the Middle East, especially in Iraq. So let me go help. And that's how I went to do that part. So in 2003, I went in 2004, but I asked them in 2003.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

No, but in 2003, you heard a president talk about your country and it moved you.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

And it made you start a journey of finding your identity, giving back to a country that saved you.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

Exactly. I thought this country, the United States of America, had taken me in and given me a life there is no way I could have had, and in the same token, said, you know what, I mean, this is my my own head is telling this to myself. You know what? Susan is not a bad person. We gave her the opportunities and she made something out of herself. She went to school, she's she studied, she's doing good.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:50

So now that we know what kind of people are the Iraqis, right? Let's go give that same opportunity to all the people that she came from with with the country that where she came from. Let's let all the people in Iraq feel the same liberty that we gave her. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

And that's how I took it. So tell me this, let's go back a little bit. So you went to college. Um, so we had a conversation off uh camera, and I want to share a little bit of that conversation. Okay, because this would just explain how she came here, but she didn't understand everything. She didn't know what she was going to endure, she just knew she had a better life, and she had to go out there and create a life. So she went to college, and now tell this story.

Learning Culture Through “Greece”

SPEAKER_04 8:41

So English is actually two languages. There is the regular English that we know and read and write and do compositions, all of that, and there is also the cultural language, the cultural language which I did not know. So I figured I I know everything about English. So when someone knocked on my door the first day I was in college, preparing my bedroom in the the dorm and said, You want to go to Greece? I wanted to go to Greece. I did not know that going to Greece means going to the movie Greece. So I actually said yes, thinking that I'm gonna go fly to Greece and come back by Monday without letting my parents know. I wanted to go to Greece. I've never been. So I and I thought So your friends, I your friends said, Let's go to Greece. Have you been to Greece? I said no. And they said, You want to go? I said, sure. We'll pick you up at seven. So I was ready with passports and and and all the back.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

And she was ready to go to Greece and had to be back in school on Monday. Okay. So go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

And and my my brain was playing tricks on me. It's like, how are you gonna make it back on Monday? But then I also thought, this is America, baby. Yeah, you never know. So I got in the car with them, and we go to this movie theater, and we go inside, and we're watching a movie, and the whole time I had no idea what was happening. I was watching a movie, I thought we were just passing time. I did not realize that I was actually watching Greece, which is what meant that they meant when they said this.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

An iconic movie, one of my favorite movies.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

And I never understood what the movie was all about for a long time.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

Now it is my favorite. I watched it a lot, but I didn't know what it meant at that time. So I go watch Greece, and then they take me back to the dorm, and I was completely confused. I didn't actually realize, didn't put two and two together until weeks later. Yes. And then it hit me after I started like all the commercials on TV, Greece, Greece, Greece, and and my friends were talking about going to Greece and everything. Then it hit me that going to Greece meant meant going to the movie Greece, and that's actually what we went to see. All the leather, all the songs, all the had no idea what the relationship was with Greece. So then I went in and shared that with them. I shared the the you know how vulnerable I was, that this is this is what I experienced. I was completely in the dark when you took me there, and I was, even afterwards, I was just smiling and saying, yes, good things, but I didn't know what we were talking about.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

She didn't know. And the reason why I wanted her to share this uh story is because you never know how someone can be naive or just don't know, you know, what someone is talking about, and you're coming from another country, you know, you're trying to find your way. And I wanted to bring this part up because it's so many young people. I went and spoke the other day for leadership youth, and and I was telling people, uh, the young people about start friendships. I said, that's first before you can ever become a leader, you have to learn how to foster relationships. And I so I was telling them, I was like, start with how my name is. Well, you were over here, okay. You had already told your name and everything, but you didn't understand what they were talking about. She was thinking of the experience of the country and how she was going to enjoy this for three days, and that but she was still gonna be in class on Monday. You know, but it just shows you how her mind was open.

SPEAKER_04 12:19

I was willing to try anything just to have friends.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

J just to have friends.

Engineering School And Lifelong Friends

SPEAKER_02 12:24

So when you were in college, what was that experience like?

SPEAKER_04 12:28

Well, I I went to engineering school and I did not do English as a second language prior to that because my English was good. So I did not have the experience of of like getting used to the the culture before that. So I just jumped in and and I'm taking calculus and physics and chemistry and all that. So I spent a lot of time studying. But at the same time, I whatever time I had left, I was I was in the student union talking with people. Uh luckily I went to Tennessee Tech. Tennessee Tech did not have it wasn't a party school. So whatever we did, like gathering for dinners and things like that was was all we could do. The the American Society of Civil Engineering took us to places. They took us to Nashville, they took us to Knoxville, and that's when I actually got the community feel. So my friends from from college at that time, they were my friends all years long. It was a school, a small school, and all boys and girls were like almost we were uh, you know, like we were a fraternity.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

So we shared a lot of things. We studied together.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

We didn't get the college experience of like now, of the part. You sound like uh I just had Randy Boyd on the podcast. And Randy said that. He said that when he went to college, he said he he started his work ethic at a very young age. And he said, so when he got to college, he said, I didn't get what these kids get now. He goes, I went in and he said, I didn't get the college experience. And he said, That's why I'm so passionate about giving the college experience. You didn't get that real college experience of hanging out and going to parties and all that.

SPEAKER_04 14:11

We we did schooling together, is projects together, is uh even computer science was was those things where you have the cards. So if you if you program it and you have all the cards and there are one card missing, means like you the whole program is is uh is you know put aside and have to start over. And even that kind of thing was put us together because we were helping each other out. Okay. Students were like we were all in the same class, so we all helped each other out to to pass, to succeed, to do that. That's how my college experience was. Yes. So when I graduated, there were 82 people, just two girls, and the rest of them were all boys. Oh, really? And we were yeah, we were all like one unit. Till now, when I go to uh professional organizations, uh uh you know, conferences and whatever, I see my friends from college.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

That's amazing. So when you got out of college, where did what where'd you go then? The first job. How did you start your life?

Landing The First Job By Hustle

SPEAKER_04 15:05

Well, I start at that time there was no emails, so you just you just send letters. Um I traveled to Atlanta and got their yellow books, uh yellow pages and started sending letters to engineering companies. I wherever I traveled, I was picking up their yellow pages and sending them letters saying, This is who I am, and I'm gonna be in your area next week and I have a meeting with you. And I did that enough time with with Atlanta that one company, you know, picked you up, picked me up, and I started that first job, which was the hardest one to get. After that, every job I applied to I got. And this is what I always tell students that just just get that first job. It's gonna be hard, but get that first job. And after that, it's gonna be much easier.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

I totally agree with that. So you get that first job and you took off, but did you did you have identity then? Or was you just straight?

SPEAKER_04 15:59

I was just trying to get a job. Uh it didn't matter what job. It was it happened to be in the hydraulics in the water system, and um, and I new development, Atlanta was always growing, and that time was growing even more. So uh developers would hire my our company and say, you know, we want to build this subdivision here, we want to do this there. So we were doing the plans and and uh you know developing the the the development for them. And so we did a lot of that and it was busy. It was a lot of time, but I made a lot of friends from office. But they again I was the odd man out. Yes. I was always the only, either the only woman in the office or the only engineer, engineering woman. Draftings and secretaries.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Especially back then, there was not many women. My father-in-law uh is an engineer, and my sister-in-law is an engineer, and her dad helped her a lot uh a lot along the way because even when Becky started, it wasn't that many. So tell me, how did you start trying to find your way in your identity?

SPEAKER_04 17:02

So I I I want to say that my my first time I felt like, okay, I can I can do this, is when I I have some friends from back home who had uh lived, they were living in San Diego at the time.

Navy Career Moves And Culture Shock

SPEAKER_04 17:18

And I was going to San Diego to visit with them, and they said that uh the Navy over there, they're hiring hiring. So I just gave them, I gave my friends my resume. At the time I've been in Atlanta maybe about four or five years.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Stop for a minute. Did y'all hear what she said? She gave her friends that she established friendship. She gave her friends her resume. So it goes back to making connections, making friendships. Because this is a person that's saying she went to college, she said she made friendships. She said, but she didn't get college experience of, you know, hanging out and all that, but she did make friendships that could help her along the way, keep going.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

So I, you know, after that I just got a call from someone higher up in the naval station there uh in San Diego. And they are looking for engineers. I did not know at the time that they were looking for female engineers. Okay. Because at the time they weren't that kind of things where you need to start elevating the women and the minorities and that kind of thing. They were just hiring people as just higher.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yeah, in general.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

So I got a call from them and they hired me on the phone. And I I hung up the phone. I felt, oh my God, they don't know me. You got hired on the phone. On the phone. And not only hired, they gave me, you know, at the time I was making, I'm I'm not sure, but let's say I'm making like $20,000. They gave me $35,000. So they gave me like almost double my salary to move there. And they were gonna move me, they're gonna send movers to move everything I have, including my car, and put it there in a storage facility for six months until I find a place in San Diego and they move me in. And that's where I remember I hung up the phone. I'll never forget where I was. I was in in my apartment. There were only landlines. Oh wow. And my mom was listening. And I hung up the phone and I said, Guess what? I think I'm gonna go to San Diego. And my mom, who lived here in Knoxville, was no way, you're not going. I said, Yes, I am. I I will I will be stupid if I turned it down. Even if I go for a year and come back, I'm going.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yes, because you can make after that your resume stronger, more money.

SPEAKER_04 19:39

Yes, and I have like I have hard footing. I mean, I'm stepping on something now. Yes, it's no longer applying for a job and getting a $2,000, $3,000 you know increase. And but I am going. You're almost doubling. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Yeah. So you so did you go? I did.

SPEAKER_04 19:58

I went to work for the naval naval station there. I was in the public works. Um, and we serviced all the all the military services. There were eight of them in that area. We serviced all of them, uh, in in any kind of repairs or any kind of structure in the civil. And I loved my work, but I did not like the people. Yes. The San Diego people, I thought they were too much beach people, and I could not connect to them.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

I could see that.

SPEAKER_04 20:28

I couldn't connect to them. I go to to the office and you were more used to Knoxville. Exactly. Well, in Atlanta. I felt like the when I always tell people I moved from Baghdad to America to to Knoxville and Atlanta. I did not feel cultural shock. I moved to San Diego in Knoxville.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Oh, I bet you felt it there. Yes, true cultural shock.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

And I I stayed there a year, and during that year I met my husband, who was at the time working for Johnson ⁇ Johnson, my ex-husband, who was working for Johnson ⁇ Johnson in sit in uh New Jersey.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

So I gave my uh I gave my resignation letter. And at the same time, I went interviewed for Lakehurst uh Navy in uh uh in uh uh Lake Lakehurst, which is in New Jersey, and I got that job. So I just transferred instead of leaving the Navy for good and go get another job, I just transferred from with the Navy, within the Navy from San Diego to New Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

So at that time you were married?

SPEAKER_04 21:36

I I got married, uh I got married and moved and and uh got a new job all at the same time in January of 89.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

And uh so I moved to to Sand uh to New Jersey. I did not like the weather, I did not like the people.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

I mean it was cold. It was very cold.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

The first time it snowed. I opened, I got out of bed, I opened the window and I saw snow and I went back to bed. And then my husband woke up about half an hour later. He's like, Why are you why are you still in bed? I said, Because it's snowing. Yeah. He said, So what? I said, what do you mean, though, so what?

SPEAKER_02 22:14

Because up there, they go, they still move. Versus Knoxville. Knoxville, we get one or two inches, it shuts down the whole city.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Nobody goes to work.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

But I can't say that anything about it because I love snow. I love winter.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

But over there things are flat and and you can drive through it. But no, no, no, no. I wasn't gonna go out there and and drive in the snow, no, especially when snow is heavy enough there. You can't see driving.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

My husband's from Pittsburgh. So and he said, You won't this is not snow. You go to Pittsburgh, that's that's the real deal. So a couple feet. Oh wow. So how did you make it back to Knoxville?

SPEAKER_04 22:56

Well, uh, we started looking for for uh homes over there. We started looking to buy home houses, and prices were really high compared to the South, to here in Atlanta. And and my my husband at the time was telling me, where do you want to move? And I said, Do you want to go back to Knoxville? I said, it's gonna be very tough for me or you to get a job in Knoxville. But it would be easier for me to do it.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Why did you feel that way?

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Engineering firms, well, first of all, the on the uh on the national level where you have uh organizations like the Navy, when I moved from San Diego to to New Jersey, there's another base there. There isn't anything here. So that's you know, the the big federal uh put opportunities is not there. Plus uh companies, smaller companies and sharing firms, they're usually uh, you know, they're they they're a lot less numbered compared to like Atlanta or places like that, New Jersey. So I did tell them if we want to go somewhere close enough to to Knoxville, but has more opportunities, it would be good to go to Atlanta. Okay. And I since I had been in Atlanta before, so I applied to uh Cobb County Water System and then they hired me. And I w I was the planning head division of the of the water.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

You must be really good at what you do. I love what you do. Yeah, because you you got hired easily. I love what I do, and and it But let me ask you this about being a woman. Let's talk about that. You know, especially back when you started, did it ever come to play in there that it was harder for you because you were a woman? Did you ever endure that? I didn't think so.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

I personally did not think so. Okay. I think it it was, but I didn't see it that way. I always saw it that if it didn't happen, God didn't want me to have it.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

So for whatever reason for whatever reason, if I missed an opportunity, I wanted a raise and I didn't get it, and I got sad, I always prayed that that just keep peace in my head, in my heart, and I knew that better things will happen. And I always told God, you've never failed me, so why would you start now? Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

I agree. So and and I have learned over the years, a lot of times when we get no, it's God saying yes to better for us. That basically this is this is no because he has something so much better for us. And so I there was a time that I would be so scared to pray in God's timing. I would be praying, hard to say, well, God, if it's in your will, let it be done. And or your timing, because I'd want my time. Okay, it'd be in my timing. But now I don't want anything out of the will of God. I, you know, I want it in his timing because it is always better than I could ever imagine. Exactly. You know, that type thing. So tell me this.

Choosing Peace Over Politics

SPEAKER_02 26:02

You spoke about a word named peace. Tell me what first what you feel about peace and why is it so important to you?

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Well, I come from a country that is so turbulent right now. So, like violence is everyday thing. People, even talking like we're talking right now, they don't know how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

People are combative, people are like all the time.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

They would rather fight.

SPEAKER_04 26:30

Yes. So if I'm sitting here, even if I want to share with you something nice, I'll I'll say it to you in a way where you would get angry at me.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

And they they speak about, they talk, people love to talk about two subjects that will never, never end up right. What's the two subjects? Well, politics and religion.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 26:53

These two subjects, I am not going to change my side. You're not going to change your side. I agree. Talking about it is only going to add more fuel to it.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

I agree. And there's so much in the world to deal with that you don't have to talk about those two things.

SPEAKER_04 27:07

So people in the Middle East, that's all that somehow they talk about it. Yeah, somehow they don't know how to talk about anything else. I do my lives in on my social media and we're going to talk about that too. And every time I talk, I say, we are not going to talk about politics or religion. And the first thing they say, what's what's your religion? I'm like, I don't care if you know what my religion is. We're not going to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

You know what, Susan? I totally agree. I'm going to tell you why. Um, a few weeks ago, you know, I'm in taping of this podcast, and I've always said this podcast, God put it on my heart. I didn't want a podcast. Okay. God put it on my heart and gave me an assignment and told me I was going to have a podcast. I'm like, God, why me? Because I don't really don't want to do this. And he's like, but you're going to do it anyway, because I'm going to get the glory out of your life. And so when I started my podcast, I was like, okay, okay, God, what is it supposed to be about? He goes, life. He said, this podcast will be about life, people's journey, and give people a voice. Okay. Well, I didn't realize when he was telling me that, but that when I the more I gave other people a voice, God gave me my voice. And so over the over the years, people have wanted to come on my podcast about politics to push their initiative. I said, my my podcast is not about politics. It's that is a subject. I I don't care to discuss it, but my thing is this my podcast, that is not what it's designed for. It's designed to bring people that I believe in. I see they make it, they're making a difference, and I want to showcase them because I feel like they have something to say. So my podcast has always been this. So a few weeks ago, I was approached to do a podcast about politics, and I flat out said no. Well, the person really didn't like that I wouldn't do it. Okay? I don't care. It's it's no different than your YouTube channel. She has a very successful YouTube channel, and we're gonna talk about that in a few minutes. There's a few things we're gonna talk about before that. She has a very successful YouTube channel, and the biggest thing what people don't realize is, and you can uh understand this, first of all, doing a YouTube channel or podcast or whatever, it's not easy. It's a lot of sacrifice, your heart has to be right, you have to um be consistent, and you have to know what your message is. Whatever message that you think your assignment is for that, don't do it for attention, popularity, politics, or just hearing yourself talk. Because some people just like to hear themselves talk, okay? Those type subjects and those type things do not make good content. It's people that has real stories that it has been called to do it, and Susan is one that has been called to do it. That that's what makes it successful. But I so many people see your platform, my platform, and they're like, Oh, I want to do this, and they'll ask me. They'll I'll be out in the community, they'll be like, Oh, I want to start that. And I'm like, I hope you're ready because there's a lot of work that people don't see.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

And don't do it for the money, because there is no money.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Yes, it it it's truly not. It's it's not um you're gonna get rich. That type thing. Um, not saying that there's not many people that's got rich on it, but I'm just telling you that most people are not gonna get rich on it.

SPEAKER_04 30:44

Well, the the richness you get is not necessarily money. And that's that's how I feel about it. Like when I get rich in the Lord. Exactly. And then you when you know that you're making a difference, like my podcast is is geared toward people in the Middle East. When you get people over there in that part of the world that we've had no connections with for the longest time, thanks to social media and YouTube, I can talk on on in the microphone in front of camera, in front of my phone, and I say to them, please make sure that your kids are raised well. Make sure that you don't beat them up, make sure that you don't accuse them of flying all the time. Make sure, just be good with your kids. When you see your kid having trouble, you don't even have to talk to them. Just go sit with them, show them that you're there, just spend time with them. When these people call me back or text me back or comment and say, I tried that and my son is my friend now, it fills my heart with joy.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

So let me say this. I said to God, okay, God, when I finally was like, okay, God, you're gonna make me do this, I'm gonna do it, okay. And God said, start with one person. And I was like, What do you mean? One person. He said, if you make a mark on one person's life, start there. Start there. And so along the way, Susan, that's what I keep in my mind. And I tell Adrian, because everybody knows Adrian Landis is my producer of this podcast, my daughter. And so Adrian helps me truly to remember that. Okay, mom, we're doing it to make a difference for one person. Okay, now we've made a difference in a lot of people's life, but if you just stick that one person, so think about it.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

So when one person tells you, I treat my kids differently, I they're my friends now. And for the people that think you can't be friends with your children, you're wrong. You do have to set a boundary there to teach them that you're the parent and they're the child. But you can be friends with your child once they mature enough to realize there's boundaries there. Adrian is my best friend. Susan can tell you when she sees me, nine times out of ten, you're gonna see Adrian somewhere there. And so we have such a great time. But I what I learned, Susan, a lot of people don't have a great relationship with their kids. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 33:09

The friendship that you have, I don't mean for it to be friendship like you're gonna go out drinking and smoking or whatever with them. But friendship to where they trust you. You're the first person they call if there's any problems. Exactly. What one of the ladies was was texting me at that time, you know, when I first started out, and she's like, Well, I can't do that to everybody. I have like five kids, and I said, Okay, well, dedicate a day to each one of them. This kid likes ice cream on Thursday, it's his day. You're gonna go you're gonna go get him ice cream. This kid, but as long as every one of these kids think that you're you have that connection with them. So, how many times do we see this in in um in movies where the parents are passes and the kids have all been told by that by that parent, you're my number one privately. That even if it's not true, they're all number one, they're all number one.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

And I do believe I love both of my children the same. But I I can say my relationship is different with both of them. Exactly. It doesn't mean that one's better than the other, it just is different. I have a girl and a boy, and they are like totally different type relationships.

SPEAKER_04 34:23

And when they ask a few is different.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Do you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 34:27

You can't you can't give your son what you what your daughter wants. Correct. So you gotta give him what he's looking for.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Well, I'll give you

Parenting Boundaries And Real Friendship

SPEAKER_02 34:34

a good example. The other night we went out to dinner and we were sitting there as a family. Uh, I'd called my husband and he was about to start cooking dinner, and I said, Hey, it's been a long day. None of us need to cook. Meet me out for dinner. You and Jaden, because me and Adrian were together, I said, Meet me out for dinner. So we go out to dinner and we're sitting there. And so my son says to me, Susan, that one of his friends said to him, A cool, a cool parent, and I'm bringing this up because what you said a minute ago, a cool parent is a parent that will go out drinking with you. So I listened to my son, Susan, and I said, Do you think that's a cool parent? And he he looked at me like, oh my gosh, I'm about to get in trouble. Whatever I'm saying. And I said, Well, you don't even have to answer it, Dayton. I said, Let me tell you this. You'll never see me go drink with you. I said, because that's a boundary for me. I said, I you will never see me drinking with my kids. Like, because to me, that is like I'm I'm teaching you how to drink alcohol. You know what I'm saying? And and this is not a knock on anybody if that's what you do. But for my children, okay, I there's other things I can do with my child besides go ahead and drink. So what you were saying is friendships. Your friendship with your your uh child, you you build off of things that they like. That child that she was talking about liked ice cream. Okay, go eat some ice cream. What is against drinking? I mean, not drinking, what is against eating ice cream, but I'm I'm against not I'm not gonna drink with my child. And so when she's on her YouTube channel giving advice, she's giving advice what she would do as a parent. And so it's uplifting to people and it's showing them that you know you moved to the United States and you learned a different life.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

Exactly. And I can share that with them now. I there's social media, and I've learned things over the years that I'd be more than happy to share with them. And if they so so the goal, the the my my channel is called Tao Lit Sofra, which means dinner table.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

Say it one more time.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

The the name is Taulita Sufra, which means dinner table. So when I when I say welcome to the people.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

And we will put this down in the links so you can follow her. I highly recommend you to follow her and comment and like and everything. I highly y'all know I don't only recommend people that I believe in. Y'all know that. Okay. So go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 37:13

What happened is it means dinner table. And the idea behind it is that this is the time when you're sitting around the dinner table to discuss things. You don't get mad at your kids if he comes in and says, so-and-so, you know, yelled at me. You don't grab your s your son or your daughter and go back to school and say, Why, how dare you allow that kid to yell at yell yell at my son? You want to make sure that your kids know how to go solve their problems peacefully. Yes. And you give them the tools to do that. You say, So what did he say? What did you say? Whatever. Why why don't you go tomorrow and say to him, We both were wrong yesterday, and whatever. Initiate the peace. Initiate the, you know, the initiate the peace. Start start going somewhere where you know the end result is good and peaceful and friendship. Let and and the same this starts somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

You have to start somewhere. You know, people I I say it this way. I said, if there's an issue, if you don't address an issue, it will turn into a problem. Exactly. If you don't address the problem, it turns into conflict and confusion. So the best part you can do is if if you see an issue in anything, family, friendships. I think the biggest thing in friendships, a lot of people say, I want true friends, but do they know how to be a friend? I was talking to a mutual friend of ours, Tammy White, we love her. Love her, love her, love her. Okay. And I was telling Tammy the other day we were talking about something. I said, Tammy, I promise you this as a friend. If there's ever a conflict, or if there's everything that every time that I'm disturbed by something you do. As a friend, I promise you this. I won't leave you. I will come to you and I will try to resolve it. I will come to you and say, hey, you hurt my feelings, or this is how I'm looking at whatever you did, and let's have the conversation. Okay. I said, and try to bring peace. I think a lot of times people will say that they're peaceful people, but when you run from it and not address it, that's not being peaceful. That take the high road. I don't believe in the high road, because I'm like, taking the high road, you're not addressing it.

SPEAKER_04 39:37

You know what you do when you're with in essence, what you do when you run away from it, you think that it's gonna go away. You're actually you're actually putting the seed of the trouble.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

It festers.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

And then you keep watering it. The longer you stay away, the longer you water it, and it becomes a big, huge tree that you can't get to.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Yes, versus if you say, okay, let me, Susan, you know what? The other day, Susan, you said this and your tone was this way. Did you mean it that way? Because it kind of hurt my feelings. And I give Susan a chance to say, hey, I'm sorry for my delivery, or no, I really meant that, but let me tell you why I meant it that way. You know, at least give your friends that moment to rectify something.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

You can do that when with genuine people, and thankfully, I consider myself someone who is surrounded by genuine people.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Yes. And so that's what I was telling Tammy the other day. I said, you never have to worry about that because I'm gonna be genuine. I tell her she has the gift of connection.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Tammy White is a person that just naturally she she naturally wants to see people win. She naturally wants to see people connect, and she she's the one, she's not a gatekeeper. She is a person, if she thinks that this person can help Susan, she's gonna be like, Susan, come here, come here. Susan, I need you to meet this person, Yavonka. Here you go. She will even say, we can be in a uh event, and she'll go, I want you to meet this person, and that's a that person right there has a story, would be good for a podcast. That's a genuine person that wants to see other people have a voice. Do you agree with that?

SPEAKER_04 41:20

She is she's the most genuine, and she she knows the connectivity. I always I've always told her, yes, I when I like I'm as an engineer, when I build something, I want to see the structure of the foundation, the set the first floor, the second floor, that kind of thing. She does the same thing, but with the community. She does. And she finds joy. And she I can't do it. It's to me, this boggles my mind that she knows how to do the the foundation and the second floor and the third floor in the community.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

And you know what? I I tell people this, I said, don't be a social climber. Don't go out here and just want to connect with everybody for your gain. That's a social climber to me. But but making connections, it it's nothing wrong with connecting with people, good genuine people. And if something should happen that you can help them and they can help you, that's a genuine connection. Now that's Tammy White.

SPEAKER_04 42:13

That's what I was saying is that her connection starts with the foundation. So the least amongst us, she pays a bit a big attention to them. If she sees someone who's lacking something to grow into a bigger person, she's gonna go find that for them.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

That's her. I'll tell you this. When she came on my podcast, I I didn't know Tammy White. Okay, I didn't ask Tammy White to come on my podcast. Adrian did. Adrian said, I think you should have uh Leadership Knoxville, CEO. Adrian read something and she said, I think she's a cool person. She was like, by what this is saying, she was like, I'm gonna reach out to her. So Adrian reached out. All these people wonder how me and Tammy became friends. I'm like, really? It was Adrian. They think it was me and her. It really was, but from the moment she came in, she was genuine. The day that she introduced me to you, she said, This is my friend. You've you need to know this person because she's a good person. That's that genuine connection. You and that's that peace that you're talking about. Exactly. Being peaceful. So let's talk about something that is not always peaceful.

Discrimination Reframed As Adversity

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Okay, let's talk about, you know, discrimination. Let's talk about you know being not one color for versus the other, you know, woman versus a man. What is your thoughts on discrimination in in this world?

SPEAKER_04 43:45

So for the longest time, of course, if you think about it from my perspective, for the longest time when I came to this country and grew and and experienced everything, I was just happy to get what I got. So I didn't see discrimination. Okay. I was thinking, When people say discrimination, I'm like, what are you talking about? And then I realized it's app it's absolutely there. It is. But but here's the other part of it. There's so many people who are fighting it. There's so many people who are against it. There's so many people who want to destroy it. And I'm talking about of all kinds of people. From the from this, you know, the youngest person or the smallest person who is experiencing it per personally to higher up in any, whether it's political, climate, or religious or anything. There are people who are high up and want to destroy it. Yes. But they're working on it and they don't know which piece to hold. I personally feel like what again we're we're turning this into a praise uh Tammy White show. But Tammy had started this uh uh neighboring project. Yes. The neighboring project is a genius thing to grow because you don't know who your neighbor is your neighbor a politician, is he black, is white, is from Iraq or is from Istanbul, from whatever. Yes. But if you get to know them, then you take that discrimination out. Yes. If you don't know them well enough, then you're gonna be thinking, I don't know them. These are new people, they just came here, they have beards, I don't want to discuss anything with them.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

Well, I'll tell you this. When when it comes to me, I'm like this. I'm a proud black woman. Have I ever been discriminated against? Yes. Okay. Do I allow that to stop me? No. Um even in real estate, I'll tell you, a lot of people will say, uh, I bet you really got discriminated in real estate uh being black. Honestly, Susan, I got discriminated more being a woman than I did as being black. I've had men feel like that they want to talk down to me because I'm a woman, and say we're in negotiations, and it's like, oh well, you need to, you know, stay in your place. And they learn real quick that don't work with me. So when I say I can't say race has never come to play. It has in other uh fields, but I will not allow it to dictate where I'm gonna be. I know that God loves me, and I am going to show I'm gonna be a representation of a of a black woman that shows that our race is worthy to be accepted, worthy to be in rooms that um that the opposite race has been that has been in, and there's not been any of color. I'm gonna make sure that I'm gonna give somebody their moment, that type thing. You see what I'm saying? You know, to me, it's just forging through it. It is, it really is. You're gonna be able to do that. Some of those rooms people don't realize. Some of those rooms that you think it's a color thing, some some of those is God telling you that is not a room you want to be in anyway.

SPEAKER_04 47:14

Right. And then and then so so you I don't look at it as discrimination. Don't want to use the word discrimination, even though I have to say I always dreamed about having a a Broadway show called Discrimination. Yes, yes. I want to do one musical called discrimination. But to me, it's not actually I don't want to call it discrimination. I call it adversity, I call it difficulty. Yes. Because when you call it difficulties or adversities, that gives you the the urge to fight it. Yes. But if you call it discrimination, then then you're you're putting separation in there.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

And I think the divide, you know, you can't say this world is not divided. Right now we're in a world that is divided, but I do believe you don't have to be divided. Absolutely. What is your thought on it?

SPEAKER_04 48:02

I mean, I always think in my in the way that I try to destroy difficulties or discriminations or whatever you want to call it, is is if you think of it as discrimination, you're basically putting a wall there. You can't you that you can't get past. Yeah. But if you call it an adversity or a difficulty, I I mean, let's let's take this as an example. You wake up in the morning and you have a flat tire. It's a difficulty. Yes. You fix it, you move on. That's how I look at it. Instead of looking at it as I go, I go in the morning and I see that my car I can't get in. Somebody put something in there that you cannot get in this car because your your color or your gender or whatever. So that makes it harder. If you call it discrimination, it makes it very hard to get into that car. Agreed. But if you call it a flat tire where it's adversity, it's difficulty, fix it and move on. I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

But I'll tell you this. I believe when they talk about rooms, because that's the big thing, is getting in, you hear every everybody talking about getting in rooms. Let me address that. I've learned that instead of focusing on the rooms that is not welcoming to you, just go to another room.

SPEAKER_04 49:20

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

You know what I'm saying? Instead of focusing on people that you feel like is trying to hold you back, you could have five people over here in a room that's trying to hold you back, but you could have 10 over in that room over there that is going to pour into you, switch rooms.

SPEAKER_04 49:36

Switch rooms and and get those people that that are your buddies, the ones that it's gonna give you power, and have one by one convince that these others to move with you.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

Yeah, and just show who you are, let someone else speak for you sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 49:54

The issue is these people are ill-informed. It's not because they have hate in their hearts, it's because they're ill-informed. They think that for whatever reason, either we're different and we can't communicate or whatever, whatever. But if we show them that we're we're not only the same, but we're slightly better. You know, we are.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

Yeah, we're better.

SPEAKER_04 50:17

We can move forward, they can follow us. We're the leaders. This is how I see it. Look, every time, like you said, every time I I'm in, like I told you, I when I graduated, there were two two women in there. I go into municipalities that these people don't know who I am. Yeah. And these municipalities because of their because of the uh the way that I speak with them about what we're gonna achieve and how I'm gonna make their life easier, they give me the work. Yes. All it is is is communicating.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

Like you have to communicate, and that's the that's the biggest thing. A lot of times people run away from communication and they they say they want things to be addressed, but a lot of times people will not address things. They don't address it, address it, and and it's okay to disagree.

SPEAKER_03 51:05

Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

You know, and it doesn't mean the person is a bad person or you're a bad person. You may just not agree with something, but as long as it works for the greater good.

SPEAKER_04 51:17

So, so let me just give you an example. Okay how many, how many uh people of my type of people, like the Middle Easterners, the Arabs, it you know, how many of those people have ruined our our reputation?

After 9/11 Changing Minds With Love

SPEAKER_04 51:31

Okay? Okay, they've done so much to ruin our reputation. But is that all of us? It's not.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

Speak on it, Susan.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

So so for me, when I saw when I when I September 11 basically changed my life because I told myself, if people in the world think that everybody in the world is a September 11th person, it's my mission to go out there and change their minds.

SPEAKER_02 51:56

I promise you she did not know that that was gonna be my next question. Okay, I promise you she did. I wanted to know what was your thought of that?

SPEAKER_04 52:03

I felt ashamed of who I am. I needed to go out there and change the perspective of who I am.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

But I bet you that was really hard. That was the hardest thing because you it's like because a group of people decided to do an attack that is attack on the whole race, and that's just the whole culture. And it's like, really? They hurt us.

SPEAKER_04 52:28

They those those people who are Arabs hurt Arabs more than anybody else. Arabs' name got destroyed. You say the word Arabs in the world, they're that's you know, they don't want to deal with us.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

I have a lot of clients in real estate that are Arabs, and my heart went out to them back then. And even to now, it's just because everybody just came, well, not everybody, but a lot of people came down on your culture. And I was just like, but you're you're coming down on people that had nothing to do with it. It's no different than me being black. You know, it's like, okay, if a black person goes out here and does something that is horrid, that doesn't mean that I'm gonna go do that same thing.

SPEAKER_04 53:13

So here that that's the part that actually gave me an awareness that not only that I've got to step up and show the world that Arabs are good. Yes, but also heal the sick among the Arabs. Is that why that you do so for so much for the community? I do so much for the community, but I also the the YouTube channel that I do is geared toward helping them not have this hatred that created September 11th.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Got you. So you're trying to basically That's the peace. You're trying to turn a tragedy into peace and bring peace and understanding.

SPEAKER_04 53:55

There do you do you remember how many reports of people saying that there were some communities that were absolutely celebrating September 11? Yes. Now they did not commit those those atrocities. They did not commit the tragedies, but the they celebrating it means that they their heart is full of hate too. Yes. And how do I go in there and heal it?

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Yes. Yeah, that's so how did you um combat it?

SPEAKER_04 54:23

I just just speak to that telephone of mine.

SPEAKER_02 54:27

She said speak to the telephone and say, this is not it. So t tell me this, what has made the difference in your life? If you could say now at the age you are now, what is some in speaking to women? What's made a difference in your life? And what advice would you give a woman that says, you know, I can't do this or I can't do that? What would you say to that woman?

SPEAKER_04 54:56

You know, that bothers me the most, especially when I hear people say, I'm not good at math, I'm a woman. Oh, oh, you could just keep put a knife in my heart when you say that. Because math, just like exercise, is just like everything else. You train yourself, you you're good at it. I would say that for me, my parents, especially my dad, what you know, we grew up in in an Arab country, the culture was that. But they have they had very open minds. I was the youngest of three kids. I'm the only girl in the family, and two boys, and they never hesitated one second to show me that I'm a different gender. They treated me just the same, but they protected me, but they treated me just the same as my brothers. You've gotta you gotta go to good school, you gotta graduate, you gotta be independent, you gotta do that. And my dad had a way of of accepting people as they are. My dad passed away when he was 101.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

Really?

SPEAKER_04 55:54

And he had a connection with everybody around him. Those 101 years, he used it to spread love and peace to everybody. You you people walk into our his life for for one hour and he they'll have he'll have a lasting impact on them. Because he knew how to to communicate, he knew how to do a connection.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 56:18

And that's why I say everything is connected. When we talk about Tammy's project, the the the neighboring, when we talk about my YouTube channel, when we it's all about connecting.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

It it is connecting with people and trying to make it better for all.

SPEAKER_04 56:32

And every every adversity, every wall will go down if we have that connection.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

Yes. When we stay in together, yes, every one of them.

SPEAKER_04 56:41

And it doesn't matter. If I'm on on YouTube and somebody from Islamabad who doesn't speak a word of Arabic, and I'm speaking Arabic or I'm speaking English, they're using a translator and start communicating with me to tell me I don't speak this language, but I have this problem. What do I do? And I try to help them with that. That is that gives me that connectivity with that person. And then I go back, like I put a reminder that I go back and check on them. Hey, what how did this happen? How what did you do? Did you do what I asked you to do? Is your mom dealing with you better? Did you know those kind of things is just connecting with people? Like you said, I don't mind staying up 24 hours a day if I'm I'm commenting or replying to people because I know I'm making it. Because that that is that this is how you you achieve the peace. This is how you achieve when people have this anger and then suddenly it goes down because they are connecting with someone is listening to them. That's all they want.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Yeah. Because most of the time people just want to be heard.

SPEAKER_04 57:44

Exactly. I I got a call from I think I got a call from someone on Instagram one time, and he's telling me he's from Egypt, and he's telling me he's gay, and there he's not accepted in that community, and they would they would uh you know harass him and they would do this and I mean I hung up the phone and I started crying. Yeah like how how how the the United States went through that learning process and growing up. But I can how many people did we hurt in the process?

SPEAKER_02 58:13

Right.

SPEAKER_04 58:14

We hurt so many people just to get there. Same thing with blacks, women, Arabs, uh Muslims, everything. Yes. We hurt so much before we learn. It's communication that makes all of this go.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

Communication is key to anything, any topic if you think about it. If there's lack of communication, it's going to be um people will not understand. Understanding. That's what you said. Understanding. They won't. They won't understand. So let me ask you this. You're uh the third thing that is you're passionate about is your community. Talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 58:52

So I I I when I came here for the longest time, I did not want to deal with my community as an Arab American.

SPEAKER_02 59:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 59:00

I wanted to be just an American.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 59:03

I did I've figured to myself that wait a minute, I want to be this country. You just want to wipe it away. Yeah. And then like I said, it I grew up, I grew up into learning that I have something to teach people, even here in this country, about my community. And that that in itself is gonna connect. It's the Arab American community is is thriving, is doing very well in this country. We go you go to the to any organization, big organizations, and you feel pride that the name of that person on top or somebody in the big, you know, uh doctors, hospitals, whatever, and you see a name that has an ancestry of Arab American, and you say, okay, well, they come here and they do so well. So why not staying there and doing well? Right. So why aren't they why are they leaving there? There's something wrong there that's making them come here and do well. So I talk with these people and I communicate with them. And I have a lot of organizations that we can connect with each other. There's an Arab America Foundation that has more than a million followers in DC. Uh, we have Arab American community here in Knoxville. There's uh Arab American Business Enterprise, which is international. We go after the business side of things. Because I want all of these people to talk with each other and to communicate on to you know be peaceful. Be good to each other. Yes, and love each other. Exactly. Not understanding someone could lead you into killing them without knowing. You think that it's it's you're doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:46

And you're thinking you're against them when technically, if you communicate it, you might for one have something in common. You might become friends.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:55

I want to say something that, you know, we said we're not gonna talk about, but uh but take religion out of it. But just my brother told me this one time. When when I get angry and upset about these, you know, people who kill themselves in order to kill everybody around them. And I I get angry at them because they they're so evil. I thought that they were evil.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:16

And my brother said, you know how when Jesus said, forgive them, father, for they don't know what they're doing. Oh wee. And I that changed every and my my brother is not the most religious person. But he said that I'll never forget it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Because to me And it changed your changed your perspective. Exactly. Totally changed.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:39

Forgive them, father. What does that mean? Before I reach to where they're killing me, let me try to get them some understanding.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:48

So we don't get to that. And that's why I feel like my my my goal in life is to give everybody an understanding. Give them a piece on the dinner table to sit down and talk.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:00

So, what made you start a YouTube channel?

Building Taulet Sufra On YouTube

SPEAKER_02 1:02:04

Keep in mind, she's had the YouTube channel for two years. She's got over a hundred follower, uh over a million followers, okay? She didn't need this YouTube channel to be successful because she's already successful in her own right. Okay? She is highly sought out, okay? Because of the person, the woman she is, okay? She can go in any any any room, okay? So she really didn't need this YouTube channel. I want people to understand that, okay? She's a big deal. I mean, she's my friend. Uh, but what made you start a YouTube channel?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:42

Well, all of this was bottling up in me. Like, how do I reach them? How do I tell them over there that all of this stuff that I learned, I don't want to get I don't want to change anything about them as far as who they are. I just want them to understand that there's there are some things that I learned since I came to the US. And now with the open roadways, which is the highways, the co the social media, I can reach to them and say, hey, talk to your kids, be friends, do this. Husbands, don't don't do this to your wives, don't, you know, all of this. And I speak from no religion and no politics point of view. I just say always wrong. Yeah, always wrong to hurt someone. There's no religion on earth that allows people to hurt someone. So let's go from that perspective. How do we fix this without hurting the next person? How do we do that? So that's how I started. And in the beginning, I would put no more than one minute video. Just go on the camera one minute and put it out there. One minute. And then I started seeing more and more people getting on it and following. So I I asked the two guys that work for me, they're from the younger generation, like like you're somebody here. And she uh and he they told me, Miss Susan, this is really great. Do more, do more. And about six months after that is when I started realizing that I need to give the advice I give, not let's not do it like a quick one minute, just do it more. And I started doing that. And amazing. I'm I'm still at awe myself because it's faster than I can catch up with. Yes. You know how like you want to manage it, but it's going faster and faster.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:29

So when you started uh getting the followers and everything, I I had no idea what what I was doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:35

I just said, okay, well, I'll do more. I started teaching people, let's say that your kids are going to spend the night at friends' house. Yes. What do you do? Do you talk, do you need to talk to the parents there? That's how simple what I say. And people comment on that. They say that one lady said, Oh, I took my son over there, and in the middle of the night he called and said, I want to come home, and I picked him up and brought him home. And I say in my video, don't do that. You know, teach your kids, tell them, prepare him. You're gonna spend the whole night because once you bring him one time, you bring him home. He's never gonna spend the night again.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:09

And he's never going to uh kids are gonna make fun of him.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:13

He's gonna be an out. You don't want to do that to your kid, even though you think if you feel like you're loving it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

You've got to save it, save the kid. No, teach him how to foster a relationship.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:23

So how small is that? Yeah. And when I say that, I get all these comments. Oh, you're right. Oh uh and then so it just kept evolving. My some of my friends ask me, Susan, do you still do that? I say, yeah, I still do that because the subjects aren't ending.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:38

So how many times a a week do you do YouTube?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:41

I have at least one video that airs every day. There's I mean, I prepare more at a time, but I have now they're averaging about 10 to 15 minutes long.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:53

And I have at least one that goes up at 5 o'clock Egypt time. The English ones, I have one. Every two or three days. Okay. It's 12 o'clock our time here.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:04

So how can uh people follow you?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:07

So the the name of the of the podcast or YouTube is called Taulet T A W L I T. Towit E-L L Sufra. S I F R A. And it's a YouTube channel. I'll send that to you so you can put it on.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

Perfect.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:24

Taulet is sufra means dinner table.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

And it's a place where you can sit and talk.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:29

And have a conversation.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

Have a conversation with all people from all ages. As long as you take the religion and the politics out of it, it's a conversation that you never want to end, just like this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:40

Yes. Well, you know we're never going to end it. Never going to end. So what's next for you?

What’s Next Plus Final Advice

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

I just want to see where this is going to take me. I'm I'm really, really excited about this. Now I'm thinking, okay, well, now I want to do a project. I don't want to just do it like this, but I want to do a project. So I've approached, as a matter of fact, this is where I'm going after I leave here, uh, Rotary, where we would work with with school kids there and teach these kids how to uh there are organizations here in the US that know how to do uh they're they're expert in communicating with the kids. So we start with the youngest kids and have those kids grow. Okay. So I'm trying to see if this YouTube channel can fund that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:23

So we can do school kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:25

You say she's always thinking of a way to bring peace and bring love and always connection. And that's what connects me and you uh because I love people. I love talking to people, I love giving people their moment, that type thing. Um, so we're gonna end it like this. What advice would you give a woman that might have a dream but has not stepped up to that dream? What would you tell them?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:03

I say, let's do this.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:05

Let's do this.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:07

That's my catchphrase. That's one thing that my friends told me I say a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:12

And I didn't know. I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:14

Mine is let's let's go.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:15

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:16

I always say, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:17

I didn't I did not know that I say this a lot, but Tammy actually is the one who brought it to my attention. She said, Susan, you say this a lot. That's your catchphrase. So I'm gonna say that. Let's do this. Don't wait. Don't wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:29

No, and don't let age define you. You know, I tell people all the time, you know, uh, yes, I started in the real estate industry in my 20s, okay? But I started turning knocks at 51 years old. I'm 55 now. If I would have looked at age, wow, what I could have missed, because I've met some of the best people in this community with turning knocks and still in awe of just what how good God is to me, my family, people, my friends, everything. And I always try to lend an ear when I can and give advice on and tell people my mistakes and tell people to go out there and just win. That's the biggest thing I would tell anybody is um don't accept no just move to the next room.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

Susan, I thank you for coming. I can't thank you enough. The door, the door is always open to you. Thank you. I would love to have you on a panel discussion with women to talk about different things because I know there's more to Susan. Um, and I want to be the one to tell that story. So welcome and I always know the door is open for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:52

This is the best thing that happened to me in a very long time. I really appreciate you.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:56

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:57

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

Tune in Friday for Talk in Tennessee with Yavonka. Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:05

Thanks for listening to Talk in Tennessee with Yavonka. Watch out for our weekly episodes from the first family of real estate. And check us out on the web www.yavonka stylesrealestate.com. See our videos on Yavonka's YouTube channel or find us on Facebook under Yavonka Landed and Twitter at Yavonka Landed. And don't forget to tell a friend about it. Until next time, Yavonka Stunning Up.